Kitchen Cred: Five recipes I am trying to master

This morning I made a traditional breakfast for my family of blueberry pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs. I must admit, cooking a meal that is well received always boosts my confidence in my credentials as a wife and mother. As I watched my five year old eat his second helping of pancakes, I came up with a list of five recipes that I would like to perfect to secure my place in the minds of my husband and children as a true master of home cooking.

1) Pancakes.  Still working on the recipe- my goal is to figure out what IHOP does and copy that.  My pancakes still tend to be too heavy and doughy for my taste.  I want them to be light, slightly sweet and delicious.  I might as well work on waffles while I'm at it.

2) Turkey and the fixins.  I have only prepared one turkey in my life.  It was dry and only slightly flavorful.  This one will require practice during the off season (times other than Thanksgiving) to perfect.  I also need to settle on a recipe for Greens, Macaroni and Cheese, and potato salad.  The cool thing about side dishes is that every family has their own tastes, so I just have to perfect them for the taste buds of my household. 

3) Chocolate Chip cookies.  I feel pretty confident with my current recipe and it already wins rave reviews from my family members. My next goal is to memorize it and be able to throw it together at will.

4) Pound cake/ birthday cake.  Cake has never been my strong suit in any form.  My mom makes the best pound cake, but I have never been able to duplicate her recipe.  I will continue to practice.  I'd also like to be able to make a delicious yellow or chocolate flavored cake for birthdays without relying on Duncan Hines or Betty Crocker.

5)  Baked pork chops or chicken breasts.  Every time I make a baked piece of boneless meat, there is at least a 50% chance that I will overcook it until it's dry.  When a pork chop is baked right, it's delicious and succulent.  When it's cooked wrong, it's like seasoned rawhide.  This one is just a matter of technique- I am confident that I will figure it out.

Let me know if you have any recipes you are currently trying to perfect.  What recipes do you remember most fondly from your mother's kitchen?  I love my mom's Oven fried chicken, pound cake and macaroni and cheese.  I also love the way she makes fried eggs:)

A Call to Arms!! Black Parents, It's Time to Grab a Mirror and Stop Waiting for Superman.

Say what you want to about the Tea Party -- You can question their motives, criticize their candidates and poke holes in their agenda-- But one thing you can't do is ignore their effectiveness.  They saw something they didn't like and mobilized to change it.  It's time to get organized black parents.  
This post is a call to arms.
Seriously.
I read a study today that first saddened, then enraged, then inspired me.  I hope it will do the same for you. The study was published by The Council of the Great City Schools, a consortium of urban public school systems from around the country. The subject: academic underachievement among black males.   If you are the parent of a young black male, YOU MUST READ the recently published Call for Change study. If you are not the parent of a young black male but know someone who is, YOU MUST READ this study and pass it along to someone else.  Oh, and if you are the parent or know the parent of a young black female, you are not off the hook.  YOU MUST READ this study because what it says about our daughters isn't any more promising. Put simply, the word CRISIS is now an understatement.
  
Some context...
Yes, we've all heard the hoopla in recent weeks surrounding the new Bill Gates backed Waiting for Superman documentary.  You know the one that everyone from Oprah, to President Obama, has been touting as a "call to action" for our country?  The one that laments the fact that U.S. students are now ranked a lowly 25th in math among 30 of the world's developed countries.  The one that points out the shocking statistic that by fourth grade, 68% of public school students scored below a proficient reading level in 2009. The one that blames the public school bureaucracy for pretty much everything.  Well, if you're a black parent and you thought things were bad, perhaps you should sit down. It gets MUCH worse.

First let's look in the MIRROR:

• In 2009, only 11% of black boys in 4th grade performed at or above PROFICIENT levels in reading. (Students attended public schools in cities with populations of 250,000 or more)
• In my hometown of Cleveland, OH, only 3% --That's right--THREE measly PERCENT of 4th grade black males scored at or above proficient levels. UGHHHHHHHH!

Think it's just a financial issue? WRONG...Read on:

• In 2009, black male 4th graders NOT eligible for free or reduced priced lunch (based on income) had reading and mathematics scores similar to or lower than white males who WERE eligible for free or reduced priced lunch (based on income).  About 21% in each group performed at or above proficient levels. 
• By 8th grade,  the achievement gap between this same group widened to six points in favor of white males.     

Can't blame economic disadvantage for that.

That's pretty bad, but here's the real slap in the face. Brace yourself and read on:

•  In 2009, black males WITHOUT disabilities performed worse than white males WITH disabilities! Only 13% of non-disabled black male 4th graders compared to 17% of disabled white male 4th graders performed at or above proficient levels in reading.

These stats are just the tip of a very big, immensely depressing, iceberg of negative data on the state of academic underachievement among black boys.  The study also looks at many other enlightening data points including some demographic insight into what's left of the black family unit,  high school and post-secondary achievement and earning potential as adults.  It's all related and it's not pretty.

I read this study today, all 106 pages of it. And I was ready.  With each dismal statistic, my will to be part of the solution grew stronger.   But when I read the "Plan of Action and Recommendations" conclusion, I realized (with anger) that the study authors in their "scholarly wisdom" had once again let me and every other black parent off the hook. Not one of the recommendations asks black parents to do ANYTHING differently (much like the Wait for Superman, blame the system approach). The word, "parent", isn't even mentioned.  That is sickening. Our babies are failing at epidemic rates, and we have no obligation to change the outcome? Ridiculous.

Let's Do Something About It.
Black parents, we need to pick up the mirror and face the fact that the blame for our children's failure starts and ends with us. Not the school. Not white racism. Not cultural bias. US!  We need to take ownership of success of our next generation like our ancestors did and our counterparts in other races still do. Realize that the schools can't and shouldn't have to do it all.  

I am fired up and ready to start a movement of black parents ready to return our children to excellence.  Our black boys are too precious to leave in the hands of anyone else. If you're ready to take some responsibility, please jump in.

Dear Reader, I crave your thoughts and prayers on this issue.  It has been near to my heart since the birth of my first son and for some time I have felt that God has a purpose for me that includes helping black boys to achieve. I am still seeking God for exactly what this purpose looks like, but I know that it starts with raising our two sons to be high achieving, Godly, men of character.

Stay tuned, this is a call to arms!!




P.S.  Don't forget to read the study for yourself to fully understand the populations of students examined- there are some significant nuances that I didn't get into here.  Also, the first nine pages are an Executive Summary that lays out the parameters of the data examined and includes every data point separated by bullets.  The rest of the study is mostly graphs illustrating the data.

Today I Dream

In my experience, there are three essential steps to initiate change:  1) Dream that it can happen (allow your mind to conceive that it could happen).  2) Formulate the plan (confront the reality of how it can happen).  3)  Execute the plan (take action to make it happen).  Although I could write at length about all three steps, today I feel like dreaming.

I love dreams because they are not limited by my current circumstances or the boundaries of reality. In my freest moments, I allow my mind to consider possibilities that practicality ultimately overrides. What if I had another five children and homeschooled them all to Harvard? What if I started a school for black boys that combined high academic standards with christian character education to produce a generation of Godly leaders? What if we could find a way to generate enough income so that our family could spend several years abroad and my kids could truly become fluent in multiple languages? What if I became a bestselling author and got to walk the red carpet on Oscar night when my novel became a celebrated film?  What if I actually ran and finished a full marathon? The beauty of a dream is that the only scrutiny it must withstand is the limits of my own imagination. It belongs to me.  I can choose to share it with others or cherish it privately in moments when my sense of purpose is uncertain. Today I sat down and wrote out an updated playlist of the current dreams that constantly loop in my brain when I need an escape.   Here they are in no particular order:

• Start a butterfly garden
• Start a real garden (with food....)
• Learn to play guitar
• Play piano again and develop my skills to the level that they were in high school
• Write a song and record it with my own voice 
• Become debt free
• Write a novel and publish it
• Write a screenplay based on said novel and see it produced into a feature film
• Memorize several biblical passages in the old and new testament and teach them to my kids
• Earn enough as a freelance writer to work from home and build my schedule around our family
• Run a marathon (starting with 10k, and 1/2 marathon )
• Live abroad long enough for my sons to become fluent in all six official languages of the U.N.
• Become fluent in Mandarin and Spanish
• Go on a vacation with my husband alone
• Become debt free
• Take our children on a whale watch to see orca whales in their natural habitat
• Take our children on an African safari
• Visit all 50 states and each continent at least once by the time my oldest child graduates from high school
• Have at least one daughter:)  (I would love twin girls)
• Become debt free (This one repeats itself because realizing this dream is the gateway to realizing so many of the others)
• Introduce my sons to Barack Obama
• Introduce my mom to Barack Obama
• Introduce myself to Michelle Obama 
• Meet: Maya Angelou, Bill Cosby, Phylicia Rashad, Condoleezza Rice, Robin Roberts, India Arie, Marva Collins, Ce Ce Winans, and James Dobson.
• Send homemade cookies and a note of appreciation to all of the people I care about at least once
• Go to an Olympic Games
• Start a children's clothing line for boys
• Start a school for black boys like Urban Prep in Chicago
• Find a place within the pro-life movement
• Become an amateur photographer
• Become an expert in something.

   That's the short list.  My goal is to check in with this list after the new year and give an update on any progress.

Congratulations Ursula Burns!

Forbes Magazine just released its annual list of the world's 100 most powerful women. For many observers, the biggest story is the fact that our nation's First Lady tops the list. Let me pause for a moment for mild albeit sincere applause. A respectable nod (with a promise to briefly reserve judgment) also goes to Oprah and Beyonce for being the only other black women to crack the top 10. But a round of applause- preferable in the standing position- must go out to the woman who graces the list at number 20, Ursula Burns.

My perspective comes in part from being a New York black lady, in part from being an engineer. I know I'm smart and have opinions worth being heard. Ursula Burns

Never heard of her? Neither had I until today. Burns is the CEO of Xerox and is the first black woman to ever head a fortune 500 company. She is married with two children. Note to anyone still doubting that wearing truly NATURAL hair is compatible with a professional image, please see Burns' picture above. Doesn't she look like someone that goes to your church?! I love that. For more on her inspiring story click here.

To gain some perspective on this accomplishment, Burns ranked higher than two of the three female U.S. Supreme Court Justices, Elena Kagen (25) and Ruth Bader Ginsburg (31). She also beat out the Queen of England! THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND (41).  I am duly impressed.

The REAL Dancing With the Stars

I saw this video on a kindred blog called blackandmarriedwithkids.com and immediately called my husband over to watch it with me. What a treasure. I love how this church chose to tastefully celebrate the passionate side of marriage at every stage of life. Our marriage is more than our children. Easy to say, but in this busy world, it can be hard to put into practice. When I went to youtube to download this video, I saw that it has already had over 242,000 views since it was posted in August! See the video below.

(BMW) Black Married Woman

One of the key pillars of the Huxtable Driven Life is the desire for a passionate marriage. At its core, The Cosby Show was a love story between Cliff and Clair Huxtable and a testament to the happily ever after ideal that we all aspire to on our wedding day. Rather than degrading each other for laughs, or worse, becoming the punch lines for a house full of sarcastic children, Cliff and Clair were portrayed as a couple in control of their home and still madly in love after years of marriage. Lest the viewer believe that they were an anomaly, over the course of the show we were treated to more loving examples of committed marriages in the storylines that explore both of their parents and the adult relationships of their children. Cliff and Clair wee more than friends, intellectual equals, and great parents; they were first and foremost zealous lovers enjoyed nothing more than listening to jazz and allowing the viewer to draw obvious conclusions about the ultimate result of their g-rated kisses on the living room couch.

I have been married for 8 years. Instead of kissing on the couch with a jazz serenade, we have mostly settled for quick pecks in the kitchen while music from my children’s favorite kiddy show temporarily disables their CB radar with mesmerizing nonsense. Not very romantic.

I went to church the other night to attend a marriage seminar presented by my pastor and his wife. During a session on intimacy in which the pastor met with all of the wives alone, he introduced a new term that stuck with me. “BMW- Black Married Woman”- sadly, these days we are even more rare than the car by the same name. Statistically, 45% of us have never been married. In fact, from 1950 to 2002, the percentage of married black women nosedived from 62% to 31%. Instead of congratulating us for beating the odds, his message was sobering, “there is always someone ready and willing to take your man- and they will if you let them.”

Hearing this blunt truth from a man (of God no less!) was like being shaken awake out of a deep sleep after ignoring a blaring alarm clock for hours. I’d heard it all before, but suddenly I was paying attention. He lectured all of us on the importance of passion in marriage and used an iceberg analogy to explain his point. According to his illustration, BMWs are like an iceberg- above the surface we often have little flash, but below the surface we have great depth that reveals our intelligence, character, and overall worth as a woman. On the contrary, there are many women who sacrifice depth for superficial flash and they float through life trying to catch the eye of any man who can be distracted. They promise everything up front, with none of the strings that ultimately earned the ring on the BMWs finger. Unfortunately for the BMW, a man’s eye is always open and what is above the surface is much easier to spot.

My pastor summed up his analogy with a word of advice: Don’t forget to focus on the flash. Step up your appearance. Be more passionate. Give him you’re A game in this area, because your flashy competition definitely will. In order words, don’t give him any reason to scan the horizon for someone else. Shine.

The Huxtable Driven Life requires a passionate marriage. Perhaps for me, the first step is to polish up the goods a bit. This BMW is ready to go to work.