Reconnecting.

I'm on vacation!! Yay! In the physical, mental and familial aftermath of billing 250 hours last month, I decided to take this week off.  For real.  I have only checked my email twice since Sunday.   My hubby and I took the boys on a short "one tank" trip for a couple of days to get away and strengthen the family ties that have become worn because I am out of place.  Yes, out of place.  When your husband has to call you to come home from work at midnight because you're still there engrossed in a project- that is out of place.  When your seven year old is the ONLY child in his class whose mommy didn't show up for the Mother's Day program because she had to work out of town- that is out of place.  When your four year old can't sleep at night (because you're not home) and is taking three hour naps in preschool to make up for it- that is out of place.  When you have no desire to be a wife to your husband because you've just worked a string of 14+ hour days- that is definitely out of place.  I knew that a change had to come, but spending time with my family this week confirmed it.  I haven't been this happy and relaxed in months.  My boys haven't been this happy and relaxed in months.  My husband and I haven't gone this long without snapping at each other in months.  Good times.  Yesterday we went to the zoo, the mall, out to eat, and swimming in the hotel pool.  At the end of the day I took a video of the boys to recap our adventures. When I asked them their favorite part of the day, the four year old answered immediately:  "Being with you!"  My thoughts exactly.   I am praying for a new opportunity to open up soon.

Excellence is Deliberate!

When Late Nights Collide With Early Mornings

Last night I pulled an all-nighter.  The kind that starts at 12pm on a Sunday afternoon and ends on Monday morning  after the kids get ready for school.  ALL NIGHT LONG.    On the bright side, I watched at least 3 episodes of Law and Order, an episode of cheers and the Meryl Streep/Alec Baldwin romantic comedy, "It's Complicated" before the sun came up.  Side note: That movie is HILARIOUS at 3 in the morning!   So why was I up all night?  Working on a 35 page brief that absolutely, positively had to get done.  The good news:  I've billed at least 60 hours in the past week related to this project. In case you're not a firm lawyer, here's everything you need to know about billable hours: more = better. The bad news- I've billed at least 60 hours on this in the past week - on top of hours billed for other clients and non-billable work.  That is EXHAUSTING.  Nothing hurts me more than coming home from work after my boys fall asleep.  In fact, on Thursday, my husband sent me a text around midnight telling me to come home because (1) It was friggin MIDNIGHT and (2) my poor four year old was crying that he couldn't sleep until I got home.  Now that sucks.

When I started this job, my oldest son was in kindergarten.  I blinked and he is now getting ready to begin second grade.  Time flies when you are (almost completely) distracted.  My husband and I have been talking and we agree--We can't go out like that.  Preparing for the next transition.  More talk on that later.

For now, I need to get some sleep.

Excellence is deliberate.

Hello:)

I can't believe it has been two weeks since I last posted! Wow. In a word, BUSY. In another word, TIRED. I really hit the ground running with my new job and after a couple days of orientation, the pace picked up exponentially. I am still getting adjusted to the firm and trying to figure out how to manage my other responsibilities responsibly. I have been too tired to write much on the blog (mostly because I have spent most of my free time in the evenings doing projects for work or trying to handle other business that can't be done during the day). As things stabilize, I will write more. Promise. Have a great week if you don't hear from me...

Weekly Report

Well, this is no way to grow a blog! Dear readers, I am still making the adjustment to my new job. I've gone from a job where leaving at 4 was "staying late" to a career where getting home at 7 means I still have several hours of work to do. BIG CHANGE. This weekend, I was so exhausted that I spent most of the day Saturday in bed surrounded by my kiddies.

Speaking of the kiddies, this has also been a big change for them. Keep them in your prayers- it has been hard explaining to them why I can't pick them up anymore or take them to school most days because I have to go to work early. Strategically, I took this job because I wanted to be able to do more for them. I hold on to that knowledge when I question this commitment. I pray that once the dust settles, I can find a balance that works for everyone.

Speaking of balance, I have come to the realization that I need help. I am currently putting ads on Craigslist and asking around for a good daily babysitter, and a part-time cook and housekeeper. When I'm home, I want to be mommy. Not stressed about preparing dinner or trying to mop the kitchen floor. I used to consider these things pretentious. Now I consider them the cost of doing business.

The good news- I really like this job. My coworkers seem like smart, down to earth people and the work (so far) is interesting. My goal is to become a great attorney. I believe that I have found the right firm to achieve it.

Excellence is deliberate and life is about balance. Those are the themes of this blog and I hope to be able to write more often once my schedule stabilizes (and I don't have to spend my evening hours writing briefs and doing research).

Have a great week!

One Week Down....

Hello Dear Readers!
I made it through my first week!  I have been too pooped to keep you updated, but hopefully, that will change as I adjust to my new schedule. This blog is definitely under construction- most of which takes place inside my head.  I am giving a great deal of thought to the direction I'd like to take in the coming months as I adjust to the new job, prepare for the Bar,  and generally try to budget my limited time in the evenings between family life, "home-work" and me time.  The good news is that I am more excited about this blog than ever and I have great expectations for its growth over the coming months.  The challenging part will be making it happen. Please bear with me while I make some adjustments that may require me to limit posting for awhile.  Know that the blog is always in my thoughts and I would LOVE to hear from you whenever you feel like leaving a comment.

Excellence is Deliberate-  I know that now more than ever.

Take care!

My First Day of Work

 Today was my first official day of work.  I spent it in training at another office.

1. Blue suit and pearls.  CHECK.
2. Three and a half hours of individual computer training on fascinating subjects like how to use email and save documents. CHECK.
3. One hour lunch/ pep-talk with partners and local restaurant. CHECK.
4. Two hour tour of firm library and lecture on how to save money doing online research. (Access to certain databases is up to $24.00 per minute) CHECK.
5. Ten minute introduction/welcome to firm conversation with Managing Partner.
6. Thirty minute presentation on short/long term disability benefits. CHECK.
7. One hour of awkward introductory banter with random attorneys/staffers/passersby at every doorway and cubicle in the place. CHECK.
8. Five minute trip to the bathroom to enjoy a snickers bar in peace. CHECK.

Day one is in the books. I survived:)
Tomorrow I get to do it all over again in the office where I will actually work.

This Blog is Still Active (in case your were wondering)

In a word ... BUSY.  I never thought two weeks would pass before I would make time to update this blog.  Sorry for the delay. Here's a quick update on things I coulda/shoulda/would've been blogging about since we last spoke:

On the Mommy Front:

• My oldest son turned SIX.  Major milestone for our family.  My baby is six!!  I only have 12 more years to get him ready for the world.  He also came in first place in the poetry category of a Spanish contest at his school and played Abraham Lincoln in the Kindergarten production of "America. "  Two more proud mommy moments.
• We found a new pre-school for my youngest son. Honestly, it is almost criminal what a difference money can make when it comes to educational opportunities for our children.  NIGHT and DAY.  We thank God for his current school, because they were there when we needed them and they were all we could afford.  I will always be grateful for the care they have shown both our boys and the understanding they have shown us when we needed it.  But I am so glad that he will be moving on to a school instead of a "day care" in the near future. 

On the Career Front:

• I wrapped up my old job and said my goodbyes. Not sure what to make of the fact that more of my coworkers told me they were jealous than happy for me. In the end, several folks really came through with sweet parting gifts and well wishes and my exit interview was basically an open invitation to return anytime. 
• I officially submitted my application to sit for the July 2011 Bar Exam!!  This accomplishment single handedly monopolized 80% of my non-work time since I last posted on this blog.   The application itself is over 50 pages long and basically requires detailed information about every aspect of my life except my (non-mental) medical history.  I had to provide more than 20 names of references and none of them could be former supervisors.  Driving records. Transcripts. Fingerprints.  Certificates of Good Standing from other jurisdictions where I am licensed.  Old bar application. BRUTAL.   Passing the Bar Exam is the centerpiece of my career goals for 2011, so this is the first of  many posts on the subject.

That's a quick update.  I'm sitting here full of nervous energy because tomorrow is my first day of work at the new gig.  Excited? Yes.  Nervous? A little.  Eager? Of course.  If I'm not too pooped at the end of it all, I'll report back tomorrow with an update.

Excellence is Deliberate!

The Beginning of the End...the Resignation.

Today was the day it truly became official. I called my current boss and told him I quit.  No turning back now.  He took it with the calm reaction that said he had been there and done this many times before.  I was happy to hear that he has been very pleased with my work, wishes me the best and wants me to know that I am leaving this job in great standing.  I'm glad I will be leaving with this bridge fully intact.

Two weeks and counting...

Have a good night!

The Acceptance Speech.

Hello Dear Readers,
After a night and day of celebrating my job offer, today I had the fantastic task of giving my acceptance speech.

How I pictured it...

I'd like to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, my mother, my late father, my husband, my children, my brothers, my law professors, and all of the people who prayed that this day would come.

I am humbled by your offer of employment, and honored to join such an esteemed team of lawyers.
It is with great joy that I accept your offer, and I look forward to joining your organization in the very near future...


How it happened...

Phone rings.  I ask receptionist to speak with hiring partner.  She tells me he is on another call, and connects me to his voicemail.   I put on my best enthusiastically professional tone and calmly tell him how excited I am to be joining the firm and that I will get back to him with a start date as soon as possible.  The end.

Tomorrow I give notice to my current employer.  Stay tuned for the reaction.

A Brand New Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jubilation! Gratitude! Anticipation!

I got the job.

Realistically, there are no words to describe how great I felt to get the written offer this evening.  I tried to find a clip from the "Can You Feel A Brand New Day" scene in The Wiz to demonstrate my joy, but surprisingly, it hasn't found its way to Youtube.    I did find a bootleg version  (see below) that someone created with their own pictures.  To refresh your memory, this is the scene when the factory workers celebrate after Dorothy kills the wicked witch, Evilene.  All of the characters are ecstatic about the possibilities for their future.

I am feeling them tonight.

Give me a day to celebrate, and I'll tell you the whole tale tomorrow.

 

Put it in WRITING!

Hello Dear Readers!
I am still on the brink in many ways. I spoke to my contact at the employer today and he casually assured me that the only thing left for them to put together is the only thing I care about- THE WRITTEN OFFER! I am now a master at feigning nonchalance. I must have said about five words during the entire conversation to avoid inadvertently revealing my desperation. HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT THIS JOB MEANS TO ME. And so it should be.

This experience would make a great short film. I need to write down my ideas so I can write and produce it one day.
Talk to you soon!

And the Winner is...

What a week. I have intentionally remained silent since my last post because I hoped to provide you with an exciting career update several days ago. The wait continues. To describe my current state of mind, picture an Academy Award nominee in the moments before the winning name is announced. The cameras are locked in. The smile is in place. The envelope is open. What happens in the next few moments can be life changing.
I have been suspended there for the last five days...

I can't wait to let you know how it ends!

Talk to you soon.

The End is Near - in a Good Way:)

Hello Dear Readers,
Just stopping in to say that the last 24 hours have been a whirlwind on the job search front. I will post more very soon when I can give a complete report! The end is near...!

In other news, I took the Jeopardy! online test today. The test is offered once a year and is the first step toward making an appearance on the show. That was no joke. There are 50 questions and you have 15 seconds to type in a response to each. I didn't prepare at all because I didn't really know where to begin. After taking the test, I realized that I need to brush up on literature, art and geography for any future attempts. They didn't give me my score, but I doubt I'll be getting a phone call for this go round;)

I have also been diligently working offline on ways to enhance this blog. More to come on that front later!

Stay tuned!

The Waiting Game

Sitting atop my priority list for 2011 is finding a new job.  As I see it, there are pretty much four stages in the job search process:

• 1) Finding out about the job opening; 
• 2) Getting the interview;
• 3) Surviving the Interview process; and
• 4) Closure (Waiting for the offer)

In my current situation, a phone call last summer from someone in my network allowed me to cruise through stages one and two quickly.  Literally overnight.  Stage three proved a more lengthy process.  Over the last six months I  endured five separate interview sessions with over two dozen people. My final interview took place eleven days ago.  At that time, I was informed that "things look good " and my candidacy would now have to survive three committee meetings (recruiting, management and partnership) before a final offer could be extended.  The estimated time for an answer was approximately two weeks. So now I wait in stage four.

To pass the time, I have tried to move some of my job search"eggs" to other baskets- last week I had two interviews for a completely different position. Although the company seemed fun, at this stage in my financial life, I can't afford to take a job for pay that makes my current government salary look like executive compensation. I should have known there was a red flag when the hiring manager had to stop at his CUBICLE to grab the pre-printed interview questions on our way to the conference room. In that instance, stages 1-4 (including my rejection of the offer) took roughly three days to complete.

Eleven days and counting... 

I'm preparing to follow up on Monday.  I keep telling myself (and everyone around me) that I'm not counting on an offer.  I wish that were true.  Securing this job will open up crucial financial doors and allow me to begin building my legal career in our current city.  At this point, I'd just like to get a final answer so I can move on.

The waiting game is difficult.  I am reminded of a favorite passage of scripture from Proverbs 3:5  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."  I am also reminded of Ecclesiastes 7:8 "The end of a matter is better than its beginning and patience is better than pride."  Amen.

Are you waiting for anything, dear readers?  Let's try to learn patience together.  Please say a prayer for me if you read this post before I post an update!

Excellence is Deliberate.

From the moment I gave birth to my first son, I have purposely infused his worldview with a steady diet of great expectations: "You can be President!"  "You can learn multiple foreign languages!"  "You can aim for the toilet and not for the wall!"  All the while I have struggled to execute these great expectations in the area of fulfilling my own potential.

About two years ago, I heard a message in church about raising Godly children.  To paraphrase, the pastor said simply, "You raise who you are, not what you say."  In other words, our children learn more about how to live their lives from the way we model behavior than from the character lessons we attempt to instill intellectually.  So true. In many aspects I am my mother. In the way I raise my children, in the way I think about the world around me, and even in the way I physically carry myself including my speaking voice.  Certainly, in other significant ways I am my own woman, but the core of who I am started with who my parents showed me I could be.  As the parent of two exceptional little boys, that thought is both exciting and terrifying.  God gave me two blank slates and one of my deepest fears is that I will somehow "mess them up" and ruin their potential because of my failings as a mother.

In 2011 (and beyond) I am raising the bar. Stepping up my game. Starting with the (wo)man in the mirror... and every other cliche that signifies a commitment to excellence.  The truth is, excellence is deliberate.  A life worth noting never happens by accident. Think about that. Let it sink in and repeat it to yourself.  EXCELLENCE IS DELIBERATE. 

That commitment to excellence is what this blog is all about;  A chronicle of my journey to strive for excellence in my faith, my family, my career and my community.  If you have made it this far through this post, I know that you are committed to the same thing in your own life, on your own terms.  It is my desire that you will take this journey with me and invite others along the way.

Old School...

New School...

So why now?  This is the first year in at least the last five years that I have no plans or (likely) possibility of a move.  I am finally able to put down roots in a community and make long(er) term plans for my family life, career and community involvement. That is HUGE!

Phase one of my plan, stabilize our finances and transition from a job mentality to career building mindset.  Let the financial management classes and career networking begin!

Happy New Year dear readers!  Let's make it a great one together.

Today I Dream

In my experience, there are three essential steps to initiate change:  1) Dream that it can happen (allow your mind to conceive that it could happen).  2) Formulate the plan (confront the reality of how it can happen).  3)  Execute the plan (take action to make it happen).  Although I could write at length about all three steps, today I feel like dreaming.

I love dreams because they are not limited by my current circumstances or the boundaries of reality. In my freest moments, I allow my mind to consider possibilities that practicality ultimately overrides. What if I had another five children and homeschooled them all to Harvard? What if I started a school for black boys that combined high academic standards with christian character education to produce a generation of Godly leaders? What if we could find a way to generate enough income so that our family could spend several years abroad and my kids could truly become fluent in multiple languages? What if I became a bestselling author and got to walk the red carpet on Oscar night when my novel became a celebrated film?  What if I actually ran and finished a full marathon? The beauty of a dream is that the only scrutiny it must withstand is the limits of my own imagination. It belongs to me.  I can choose to share it with others or cherish it privately in moments when my sense of purpose is uncertain. Today I sat down and wrote out an updated playlist of the current dreams that constantly loop in my brain when I need an escape.   Here they are in no particular order:

• Start a butterfly garden
• Start a real garden (with food....)
• Learn to play guitar
• Play piano again and develop my skills to the level that they were in high school
• Write a song and record it with my own voice 
• Become debt free
• Write a novel and publish it
• Write a screenplay based on said novel and see it produced into a feature film
• Memorize several biblical passages in the old and new testament and teach them to my kids
• Earn enough as a freelance writer to work from home and build my schedule around our family
• Run a marathon (starting with 10k, and 1/2 marathon )
• Live abroad long enough for my sons to become fluent in all six official languages of the U.N.
• Become fluent in Mandarin and Spanish
• Go on a vacation with my husband alone
• Become debt free
• Take our children on a whale watch to see orca whales in their natural habitat
• Take our children on an African safari
• Visit all 50 states and each continent at least once by the time my oldest child graduates from high school
• Have at least one daughter:)  (I would love twin girls)
• Become debt free (This one repeats itself because realizing this dream is the gateway to realizing so many of the others)
• Introduce my sons to Barack Obama
• Introduce my mom to Barack Obama
• Introduce myself to Michelle Obama 
• Meet: Maya Angelou, Bill Cosby, Phylicia Rashad, Condoleezza Rice, Robin Roberts, India Arie, Marva Collins, Ce Ce Winans, and James Dobson.
• Send homemade cookies and a note of appreciation to all of the people I care about at least once
• Go to an Olympic Games
• Start a children's clothing line for boys
• Start a school for black boys like Urban Prep in Chicago
• Find a place within the pro-life movement
• Become an amateur photographer
• Become an expert in something.

   That's the short list.  My goal is to check in with this list after the new year and give an update on any progress.

Congratulations Ursula Burns!

Forbes Magazine just released its annual list of the world's 100 most powerful women. For many observers, the biggest story is the fact that our nation's First Lady tops the list. Let me pause for a moment for mild albeit sincere applause. A respectable nod (with a promise to briefly reserve judgment) also goes to Oprah and Beyonce for being the only other black women to crack the top 10. But a round of applause- preferable in the standing position- must go out to the woman who graces the list at number 20, Ursula Burns.

My perspective comes in part from being a New York black lady, in part from being an engineer. I know I'm smart and have opinions worth being heard. Ursula Burns

Never heard of her? Neither had I until today. Burns is the CEO of Xerox and is the first black woman to ever head a fortune 500 company. She is married with two children. Note to anyone still doubting that wearing truly NATURAL hair is compatible with a professional image, please see Burns' picture above. Doesn't she look like someone that goes to your church?! I love that. For more on her inspiring story click here.

To gain some perspective on this accomplishment, Burns ranked higher than two of the three female U.S. Supreme Court Justices, Elena Kagen (25) and Ruth Bader Ginsburg (31). She also beat out the Queen of England! THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND (41).  I am duly impressed.