Graduation Day

Today is graduation day.  For the past three months I participated in a Leadership Academy for "young" lawyers that offered a comprehensive curriculum designed to equip us with knowledge about our personal leadership style, methods of influencing others and an array of other subjects.  As a result, we are all tasked with implementing a "Leadership Legacy Project" in our local communities.  I am pumped.  My project deals with promoting academic achievement and cross-cultural training and language instruction to black boys.  I'll keep you posted. Literally:)

Quote of the Day

We all hear thousands of phrases daily that float in and our of our brains without any real traction.  "Hello, how are you?"   "Have a great weekend."  "Mommmmmmy I need to go potty!!!!"  Every now and then we hear something so profound that we are forced to stop and let it resonate to our deeper self.

Tonight I was moved while watching "Your Own Show" on the Oprah Winfrey Network. One of the contestants, Zach Anner, was asked what he has learned from the experience of vying for his own television show against 9 other contestants.  His answer was beautifully simple. 

"I am worth my own dreams."

I love that.  He took the words right out of my mouth.

Have a good weekend!

And the Winner is...

What a week. I have intentionally remained silent since my last post because I hoped to provide you with an exciting career update several days ago. The wait continues. To describe my current state of mind, picture an Academy Award nominee in the moments before the winning name is announced. The cameras are locked in. The smile is in place. The envelope is open. What happens in the next few moments can be life changing.
I have been suspended there for the last five days...

I can't wait to let you know how it ends!

Talk to you soon.

"Famous"

I recognized myself in a song today.  I wish I could say it was an inspirational song of praise by Chris Tomlin or a feel good anthem by India Arie, but it was neither.  The artist, Jazmine Sullivan, is an amazing talent- her smoky voice reminds me of a cross between Lauryn Hill and Mary J. Blige.  I have become a great fan of her music.  Her style is never clean and pretty, but it is always honest.

Her latest gem is a song called simply, “Famous.” Click here to review the lyrics and hear the song before you read on. I was initially drawn in by the raw beauty of her vocals on the chorus but the lyrics are a powerful commentary on our culture of self.  On its face the song is the artist’s confessional declaration that she is driven  by the promise of celebrity.  Jazmine sings,

No one wants to be invisible
Everyone just wants to be seen.
I know one thing is so irresistible
Cause we all need a reason to be.

In hearing those words, I thought about the exploding popularity of Twitter and Facebook and our societal obsession with telling anyone who will listen about the mundane details of our lives through tweets and status updates.  I thought about the implied influence that correlates with a high number of Twitter followers, Facebook fans, blog subscribers/followers, linkedin connections etc. I thought about the willingness of people to video themselves participating in  everything from brutal bullying attacks to having sex and post it on youtube to be viewed by the world.

I wanna matter to the world.

Although I have never aspired to the kind of household name fame that Jasmine will certainly achieve, her words resonate with my own desire to be known. As she sang the chorus, I reflected on my feelings of validation whenever I post an opinion on Facebook (or this blog) and someone else posts a comment endorsing my perspective.  I remembered all the times I’ve called some public figure a “nobody” because they are not a member of my mental “A-list.”  I considered my dream of writing a bestselling novel and my plan to build the readership of this blog as a platform for that project.  I thought about all of the blogs and books I read about building my personal "brand." 

I share these thoughts with trepidation. I know my true purpose  is to point others to Christ in all I do and I am concerned that the connection I feel to this song reveals that I have been contaminated by self.  I'm honestly not sure how to feel about the way I feel.  Is it wrong to be passionate about something (in my case, writing) and want to be known for my ability to do it well? Is the virtuous mind one that only seeks to achieve excellence for its own sake?

What do you think Dear Readers? Can you relate?  

Living the Dream...

Hello Dear Readers! I just wanted to stop in and let you know that I just registered to take the Jeopardy! online test. This is the first step in qualifying to become a contestant on Jeopardy! My kids and I watch this show every day and I really do consider it a great opportunity for them to learn interesting information and practice thinking on their feet. They can already answer a few questions every week. I would love to appear on Jeopardy! I'd probably end up with a negative score, but you only live once (on this side of eternity) right?!! If you have any interest in taking the test, it is offered online on February 8, 2011 at 8 p.m. EST. Click here for more details and let me know if you'll be testing with me:)

Have a great week!

Excellence is Deliberate.

From the moment I gave birth to my first son, I have purposely infused his worldview with a steady diet of great expectations: "You can be President!"  "You can learn multiple foreign languages!"  "You can aim for the toilet and not for the wall!"  All the while I have struggled to execute these great expectations in the area of fulfilling my own potential.

About two years ago, I heard a message in church about raising Godly children.  To paraphrase, the pastor said simply, "You raise who you are, not what you say."  In other words, our children learn more about how to live their lives from the way we model behavior than from the character lessons we attempt to instill intellectually.  So true. In many aspects I am my mother. In the way I raise my children, in the way I think about the world around me, and even in the way I physically carry myself including my speaking voice.  Certainly, in other significant ways I am my own woman, but the core of who I am started with who my parents showed me I could be.  As the parent of two exceptional little boys, that thought is both exciting and terrifying.  God gave me two blank slates and one of my deepest fears is that I will somehow "mess them up" and ruin their potential because of my failings as a mother.

In 2011 (and beyond) I am raising the bar. Stepping up my game. Starting with the (wo)man in the mirror... and every other cliche that signifies a commitment to excellence.  The truth is, excellence is deliberate.  A life worth noting never happens by accident. Think about that. Let it sink in and repeat it to yourself.  EXCELLENCE IS DELIBERATE. 

That commitment to excellence is what this blog is all about;  A chronicle of my journey to strive for excellence in my faith, my family, my career and my community.  If you have made it this far through this post, I know that you are committed to the same thing in your own life, on your own terms.  It is my desire that you will take this journey with me and invite others along the way.

Old School...

New School...

So why now?  This is the first year in at least the last five years that I have no plans or (likely) possibility of a move.  I am finally able to put down roots in a community and make long(er) term plans for my family life, career and community involvement. That is HUGE!

Phase one of my plan, stabilize our finances and transition from a job mentality to career building mindset.  Let the financial management classes and career networking begin!

Happy New Year dear readers!  Let's make it a great one together.

Ten pounds to Lose.

Today I wore a suit to work that I haven't been able to fit into in over three years.  That probably sounds like good news until I tell you that the last time I wore this suit I was pregnant with my youngest son. In fact, between you and me, it is still missing the button that popped off toward the end of my first trimester:)  This non-maternity suit was purchased during my "camouflage" phase to serve as a clever disguise until I broke out in my Motherhood Maternity gear during trimester two.

That said, it should be obvious that without pregnancy as a scapegoat, my ability to wear this suit is not a good thing. Let the running begin.  I started last week and am proud to say that I have already pushed through the first  few days of achy muscles and fatigue.  My goal is to get back to running five miles 4-5 times a week.  Right now I am winded after the one mile lap around my neighborhood. My, what a difference a few months of no exercise and junk food can make. I realize that perhaps this isn't the best time of year to embark on a weight loss quest;Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are all formidable foes to anyone trying to stick to a healthy diet.  (Curse you Halloween- the cheap candy sales that followed your holiday are what got me into this mess in the first place... !)

I've got ten pounds to lose, one run at a time. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.  Until then, I'll be revisiting my old "pre" maternity wardrobe that I hope one day to wear again for its original purpose.

A Call to Arms!! Black Parents, It's Time to Grab a Mirror and Stop Waiting for Superman.

Say what you want to about the Tea Party -- You can question their motives, criticize their candidates and poke holes in their agenda-- But one thing you can't do is ignore their effectiveness.  They saw something they didn't like and mobilized to change it.  It's time to get organized black parents.  
This post is a call to arms.
Seriously.
I read a study today that first saddened, then enraged, then inspired me.  I hope it will do the same for you. The study was published by The Council of the Great City Schools, a consortium of urban public school systems from around the country. The subject: academic underachievement among black males.   If you are the parent of a young black male, YOU MUST READ the recently published Call for Change study. If you are not the parent of a young black male but know someone who is, YOU MUST READ this study and pass it along to someone else.  Oh, and if you are the parent or know the parent of a young black female, you are not off the hook.  YOU MUST READ this study because what it says about our daughters isn't any more promising. Put simply, the word CRISIS is now an understatement.
  
Some context...
Yes, we've all heard the hoopla in recent weeks surrounding the new Bill Gates backed Waiting for Superman documentary.  You know the one that everyone from Oprah, to President Obama, has been touting as a "call to action" for our country?  The one that laments the fact that U.S. students are now ranked a lowly 25th in math among 30 of the world's developed countries.  The one that points out the shocking statistic that by fourth grade, 68% of public school students scored below a proficient reading level in 2009. The one that blames the public school bureaucracy for pretty much everything.  Well, if you're a black parent and you thought things were bad, perhaps you should sit down. It gets MUCH worse.

First let's look in the MIRROR:

• In 2009, only 11% of black boys in 4th grade performed at or above PROFICIENT levels in reading. (Students attended public schools in cities with populations of 250,000 or more)
• In my hometown of Cleveland, OH, only 3% --That's right--THREE measly PERCENT of 4th grade black males scored at or above proficient levels. UGHHHHHHHH!

Think it's just a financial issue? WRONG...Read on:

• In 2009, black male 4th graders NOT eligible for free or reduced priced lunch (based on income) had reading and mathematics scores similar to or lower than white males who WERE eligible for free or reduced priced lunch (based on income).  About 21% in each group performed at or above proficient levels. 
• By 8th grade,  the achievement gap between this same group widened to six points in favor of white males.     

Can't blame economic disadvantage for that.

That's pretty bad, but here's the real slap in the face. Brace yourself and read on:

•  In 2009, black males WITHOUT disabilities performed worse than white males WITH disabilities! Only 13% of non-disabled black male 4th graders compared to 17% of disabled white male 4th graders performed at or above proficient levels in reading.

These stats are just the tip of a very big, immensely depressing, iceberg of negative data on the state of academic underachievement among black boys.  The study also looks at many other enlightening data points including some demographic insight into what's left of the black family unit,  high school and post-secondary achievement and earning potential as adults.  It's all related and it's not pretty.

I read this study today, all 106 pages of it. And I was ready.  With each dismal statistic, my will to be part of the solution grew stronger.   But when I read the "Plan of Action and Recommendations" conclusion, I realized (with anger) that the study authors in their "scholarly wisdom" had once again let me and every other black parent off the hook. Not one of the recommendations asks black parents to do ANYTHING differently (much like the Wait for Superman, blame the system approach). The word, "parent", isn't even mentioned.  That is sickening. Our babies are failing at epidemic rates, and we have no obligation to change the outcome? Ridiculous.

Let's Do Something About It.
Black parents, we need to pick up the mirror and face the fact that the blame for our children's failure starts and ends with us. Not the school. Not white racism. Not cultural bias. US!  We need to take ownership of success of our next generation like our ancestors did and our counterparts in other races still do. Realize that the schools can't and shouldn't have to do it all.  

I am fired up and ready to start a movement of black parents ready to return our children to excellence.  Our black boys are too precious to leave in the hands of anyone else. If you're ready to take some responsibility, please jump in.

Dear Reader, I crave your thoughts and prayers on this issue.  It has been near to my heart since the birth of my first son and for some time I have felt that God has a purpose for me that includes helping black boys to achieve. I am still seeking God for exactly what this purpose looks like, but I know that it starts with raising our two sons to be high achieving, Godly, men of character.

Stay tuned, this is a call to arms!!




P.S.  Don't forget to read the study for yourself to fully understand the populations of students examined- there are some significant nuances that I didn't get into here.  Also, the first nine pages are an Executive Summary that lays out the parameters of the data examined and includes every data point separated by bullets.  The rest of the study is mostly graphs illustrating the data.

Today I Dream

In my experience, there are three essential steps to initiate change:  1) Dream that it can happen (allow your mind to conceive that it could happen).  2) Formulate the plan (confront the reality of how it can happen).  3)  Execute the plan (take action to make it happen).  Although I could write at length about all three steps, today I feel like dreaming.

I love dreams because they are not limited by my current circumstances or the boundaries of reality. In my freest moments, I allow my mind to consider possibilities that practicality ultimately overrides. What if I had another five children and homeschooled them all to Harvard? What if I started a school for black boys that combined high academic standards with christian character education to produce a generation of Godly leaders? What if we could find a way to generate enough income so that our family could spend several years abroad and my kids could truly become fluent in multiple languages? What if I became a bestselling author and got to walk the red carpet on Oscar night when my novel became a celebrated film?  What if I actually ran and finished a full marathon? The beauty of a dream is that the only scrutiny it must withstand is the limits of my own imagination. It belongs to me.  I can choose to share it with others or cherish it privately in moments when my sense of purpose is uncertain. Today I sat down and wrote out an updated playlist of the current dreams that constantly loop in my brain when I need an escape.   Here they are in no particular order:

• Start a butterfly garden
• Start a real garden (with food....)
• Learn to play guitar
• Play piano again and develop my skills to the level that they were in high school
• Write a song and record it with my own voice 
• Become debt free
• Write a novel and publish it
• Write a screenplay based on said novel and see it produced into a feature film
• Memorize several biblical passages in the old and new testament and teach them to my kids
• Earn enough as a freelance writer to work from home and build my schedule around our family
• Run a marathon (starting with 10k, and 1/2 marathon )
• Live abroad long enough for my sons to become fluent in all six official languages of the U.N.
• Become fluent in Mandarin and Spanish
• Go on a vacation with my husband alone
• Become debt free
• Take our children on a whale watch to see orca whales in their natural habitat
• Take our children on an African safari
• Visit all 50 states and each continent at least once by the time my oldest child graduates from high school
• Have at least one daughter:)  (I would love twin girls)
• Become debt free (This one repeats itself because realizing this dream is the gateway to realizing so many of the others)
• Introduce my sons to Barack Obama
• Introduce my mom to Barack Obama
• Introduce myself to Michelle Obama 
• Meet: Maya Angelou, Bill Cosby, Phylicia Rashad, Condoleezza Rice, Robin Roberts, India Arie, Marva Collins, Ce Ce Winans, and James Dobson.
• Send homemade cookies and a note of appreciation to all of the people I care about at least once
• Go to an Olympic Games
• Start a children's clothing line for boys
• Start a school for black boys like Urban Prep in Chicago
• Find a place within the pro-life movement
• Become an amateur photographer
• Become an expert in something.

   That's the short list.  My goal is to check in with this list after the new year and give an update on any progress.

And so it begins...

Writing a blog is like dancing naked across a dark stage knowing that at any minute, the lights might come up and a crowd full of spectators could be focused on your every move.

Today I have the naïve joy and false confidence of putting my thoughts out there knowing that not another soul has any clue of their existence.

I have the absolute freedom to tell the world what I really think about serious controversial issues, or to focus on lighthearted observations about topics that will be irrelevant next week.

I can write as though I assume that everyone in the world agrees with me, because until a comment says otherwise, there is no evidence to the contrary.

I know that this post may one day be read by thousands of people, or eventually die a simple death by deletion, read only by my mother, and my husband (if nothing more interesting catches his eye on ebay or itunes first).

So with that in mind Dear Reader (if you exist), this blog is a private quest with public oversight- a means to an end, if you will. It is my declaration that I love to write, and I have the discipline to do it; and ultimately it is the precursor to my lifelong dream of writing a novel without fear of how the world will receive it.

I’m ready to get undressed (metaphorically speaking…) see you at the theater.